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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23995810">She is Tomorrow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceinSpace/pseuds/AliceinSpace'>AliceinSpace</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ellie's nervous about her first patrol, Father/Daughter, Growth, Joel &amp; Ellie - Freeform, Late night talks, Life in Jackson, PTSD symptoms, first time Joel tells Ellie that he loves her, you know what that is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:21:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23995810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceinSpace/pseuds/AliceinSpace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It is rather fitting that those three little words sneak out of his mouth in much the same way that she snuck into his heart.</p><p>Accident isn’t the right word then, because he means them.  It isn’t an accident and it isn’t on purpose.  It happens.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>219</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>She is Tomorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night is quiet.</p><p>Until he jams his finger in his search for matches and swears.  He manages to light the fucking candle on the damn counter and snatches a damn bottle of water from the shit fridge and a fucking-shit glass from the damn-fucking-shit cabinet.  Wrapped around the cold bottle, his finger’s throbbing slows and stops.  The sound of the water hitting the glass is comforting.</p><p>As he drinks, he leans against the counter and closes his eyes.  The block’s generator and the fridge emit low hums that are as peaceful as a gently rocking ship.  The only other sound is the subtle footsteps coming down the stairs.</p><p>“Joel?”  Her voice explores the quiet darkness.  “You okay?”</p><p>He smiles.</p><p>He opens his eyes as he replies, “Yeah, just… couldn’t find the damn matches.”  He moves to pull out another glass as she rounds the corner.</p><p>Ellie has grown in the three months they’ve been living in Jackson, but she still looks too old for her body.  She has since last winter.  Sometimes she seems older than Joel, and those are hard days for them both.  But tonight?  In the candlelight in the kitchen of the little place they are trying to call home?  She looks like the little girl he met in Boston.</p><p>Especially when she laughs at him, accepts the glass of water, and says, “Thanks, old man.”</p><p>He scoffs but it turns into a chuckle.  “Can’t sleep, huh?  Nervous about your first patrol tomorrow?”  He prays that it is not her nightmares that keep her up tonight.</p><p>“I’m not nervous.”</p><p>Joel hides his fond smile by taking another gulp of water.  She’s definitely nervous.  He hums and lets her interpret it as she likes.</p><p>“Okay, yeah, it’s my first one and I don’t want to mess anything up, you know?”</p><p>He makes a noise of agreement.</p><p>“I don’t want the others to think I’m stupid.”</p><p>“They won’t.”</p><p>She continues as if he hadn’t said a word, but he is used to it by now.  Likes it even.  “I just…  I just want them to like me for me, does that make any sense?  Not because they have to, like my mom, and not because they’re in awe or something ‘cause I crossed the country twice or because I’m immune.  Don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone,” she says as he opens his mouth.</p><p>Joel sighs and puts down his glass.  “Not nervous, huh?” he mutters.  She is nervous, but he is terrified.  Terrified that something will happen to her and she won’t come home to him.  But she’s fifteen, plenty old enough, and they’ve been here long enough that she wants to help, wants to be of use because she isn’t their savior anymore.  He kept her safe from that fate.  He cannot keep her from this small patrol.  He will let her go but he will worry.</p><p>She braces her palms on the countertop and lifts herself to sit, her sock feet swinging beside him.  “Agh I’m worrying for nothing, right?  I got you to like me, didn’t I?”  Leaning, she jostles him with her shoulder, a smile in her voice.</p><p>“You did,” he concedes.  “You didn’t make it easy, but you did.”</p><p>“Hey!”  She goes in for a playful whack, but he catches her arm without thinking and if his brain doesn’t catch up with what is happening, he might throw her to the shitty tiled floor with instincts older than she is.</p><p>But she catches it first, recognizes it, and relaxes her arm and breathes his name without moving her mouth.</p><p>“It’s me, I’m sorry,” she whispers, and when he turns his head he can see her bright eyes reflecting the light of the candle.</p><p>He lets go.  He scrubs a shaking hand over his face.  He sighs with more air than is in him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”</p><p>“No… it’s all right…”</p><p>He feels more than hears her scoot closer to him on the counter.  She moves deliberately and calmly, broadcasting her movements in a way only possible if you’ve been taught not to.  Joel feels the weight of her head touch his shoulder and he is surprised by how comforting that weight is.  His cheek turns into her hair and he reaches for her hand and they exist there for a long time.  She doesn’t try to say anything, she just holds onto him as they both watch the same words run through their heads.</p><p>
  <em>I’m okay I am alive I am not alone</em>
</p><p>After many long, quiet minutes, Ellie’s head begins to slide, her fingers limp.</p><p>“Ellie?” he calls softly, patting her hand.  “Wake up, Ellie.”</p><p>She grunts in protest and sits up.</p><p>“Go back to sleep.  There’s still a few hours left before dawn.”</p><p>She mumbles a response that he can’t make out, but she does slip down from the counter and begin her slow plod to the stairs.  At the doorway, she half-turns back to him, her whole body made of sleep, and says quietly, “Night, Joel.”</p><p>And he is so overwhelmed by this moment, by the simplicity of her, that he smiles.</p><p>“Be careful, kiddo… Love you.”</p><p>He is caught off-guard by the words.  They were not conjured by him, they seem almost to have said themselves.  But damn if he doesn’t mean them.</p><p>He thinks that she might not have even heard him.  The hesitation of her feet on the stairs is probably mere exhaustion.</p><p>Later, he falls asleep on the couch to the warm feeling of the words bouncing about inside him.  It feels nice after years of empty space in his chest.</p><p>***</p><p>She has been gone for hours when the morning sun wakes him.</p><p>He goes about his morning as if nothing has changed.</p><p>It hasn’t, after all.  He didn’t say anything they didn’t already know.</p><p>Nothing continues to change when he finds the note she left under his water glass from last night.</p><p>Love you too.</p><p>Be back soon.</p><p>He smiles and tucks the note into his breast pocket.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>With the new release date 46 days away, the urge to post a bunch of fluffy TLOU fics is irresistible.</p><p>Let me know what you think! 💙</p></blockquote></div></div>
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